I think we're getting a cold. (we meaning my little household--myself, Katie, and my boyfriend)... She is not nearly as lethargic as I am. I feel like I could sleep for 24 hours. Sadly, I probably could if I had the chance.... The dishes are piling up in the sink, the laundry is awaiting transport from the washer to the dryer. And I just can't care. Katie has been happy and cuddly for the most part... No worse for the wear as they say. But we could both use a bath!
I stumbled across Katherine Wolf's story today, thanks to Nienie's blog.... All I can say is wow. Both of these women are close in age to me, yet I feel like they are decades wiser. Something happens to you, I think, when your life is forcibly simplified like it was for these two women. Survival was first and foremost, and family a close second. I still get distracted by friends, projects, appearances, material things.... etc. I do not of course wish for a life threatening experience, but I do wish I could channel the focus and simplicity that results from these events.
Sometimes with Katie's challenges I chastise myself for desiring a more "normal" life. To pretend like my daughter doesn't struggle to communicate or require my constant attention to survive. Any fantasy I have always has to wake up to the reality that this is not my life. What Katie and I face is our life. And it is beautiful. It isn't as hard as it could be. I really do wish I wasn't so tired all the time. I wish I was a better housekeeper. I wish I made all the phone calls I need to make, cleaned out my car, and dealt with sorting the laundry before it became a pile on the floor. But grace and God allow me the truth that Katie is healthy, happy, and blissfully unaware of her mother's shortcomings! And her happiness is truly all that matters. Because when baby's happy, Mama's happy!
**I love what Katherine says in her journal about trials and struggles.... and about "Using the Good Stuff"--a philosophy I have always subscribed to!
I consider my greatest fault/chara
Use the Good Stuff
Patty Roper, Joanna Martin, Brenda See and their daughters threw me a lovely “Paper and Linen” Shower in Montgomery (it was the first of 13 parties before I got married –I’m not kidding). As the hostess gift, they gave me a gorgeous set of monogrammed sheets. I was saving them to use when we had our own home. Had I died last April, I would have NEVER used those sheets. They would have been saved for 4 years for nothing! I think my situation points to the fact that you should use the good stuff and do all those things you have always wanted to do. Who cares if the baby might stain it or something gets broken. It’s definitely better to find enjoyment in special things now then feeling regretful for having those things sit, uselessly in a closet, never being used and enjoyed. We are not promised tomorrow, and we need to live like it is our last today and celebrate the gift of each day.